Articles
Sorry Apologies - Part 2
Two boys got into a fight at school. They both threw punches, but it was Sam who the teacher saw throwing the last punch. “Sam!” the teacher scolded. “Stop fighting!”
“Billy started it,” Sam replied.
I think everyone has heard a response like that. Frankly, it doesn’t belong in this article series because, while it is a response to being caught doing something wrong, it isn’t remotely an apology. It’s a sorry excuse where an apology belongs. It’s also eerily similar to the very first response where an apology would have been appropriate.
In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve had just broken God’s commandment. They were in the wrong and they knew it. However, once confronted, they pointed fingers.
Adam said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate” (Gen. 3:12). Eve said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate” (Gen. 3:13). Both told the truth. Neither apologized.
It should be obvious, but sometimes we need the reminders:
- Just because someone else did something wrong, that doesn’t give you the right to do something wrong in retaliation. Eve’s actions didn’t make Adam right.
- Blaming someone else is not an apology.
- Justifying yourself is not an apology.
I suppose David could have pointed fingers. He could have blamed Bathsheba for bathing in a place where David could see her. Does it matter whether she did that on purpose or on accident? David could have blamed God for his desires. He wouldn’t have been interested in Bathsheba if God hadn’t made him that way. I suppose he could have even blamed his messengers. After all, they could have refused to retrieve Bathsheba and tried to talk sense into their king. David could have done that. He didn’t.
Once confronted. David simply said, “I have sinned against the Lord” (II Sam. 12:13).
Apologies don’t have to be complicated. They don’t have to be long. Sometimes the most simple and best apology is to admit to being wrong. Period. No but. No justifications. Just, “I was wrong.”
What if Adam and Eve had apologized rather than pointing fingers? We can only speculate. When David apologized rather than blamed, he was forgiven even though he still had to face the horrible consequences of his actions (II Sam. 12:13-14). It seems fair to think that Adam and Eve would have had a similar outcome. Which means, not much would have changed. The promised consequence of sin (ultimately death) would have still occurred. So why does this matter? Because apologizing is the right thing to do when we are wrong. It won’t make us less wrong. It won’t fix our problems. But it is the right thing to do.
Of course, if that’s not enough reason to apologize, then listen to God’s words to David again. “The Lord also has taken away your sin” (II Sam. 12:13). Notice, it was not the apology that took away the sins. It was the Lord who did that. But that is the ultimate power of a proper apology. It has the potential to mend broken relationships.
